Allan was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone
there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them." Tired of
his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Allan how about Tom
Cruise?" "Sure, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. "So
Allan and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door
and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, "Allan! Great to see you! You and
your friend come right in and join me for lunch!"
Although impressed, Allan's boss is still sceptical. After they leave
Cruise's house, he tells Allan that he thinks Allan's knowing Cruise was
just lucky. "No, no, just name anyone else," Allan says. "President
Clinton," his boss quickly retorts. "Yes," Allan says, "I know him,
let's fly out to Washington." And off they go. At the White House,
Clinton spots Allan on the tour and motions him and his boss over,
saying, "Allan, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but
you and your friend come on in and let's have a cup of coffee first and
catch up."
Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced.
After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to
Allan, who again implores him to name anyone else. "The Pope," his boss
replies. "Sure!" says Allan. "My folks are from Poland, and I've known
the Pope a long time." So off they fly to Rome. Allan and his boss are
assembled with the ma sses in Vatican Square when Allan says, "This will
never work. I can't catch the Pope's eye among all these people. Tell
you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I'll come
out on the balcony with the Pope." And he disappears into the crowd
headed toward the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Allan emerges with the Pope on the
balcony but by the time Allan returns, he finds that his boss has had a
heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his
boss' side, Allan asks him, "What happened?" His boss looks up and says,
"I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the
man next to me said, "Who the f**k's that on the balcony with Allan?"
