| A CHRISTIAN |
You have two cows. You keep one and give one to
your neighbor. |
| A SOCIALIST |
You have two cows. The government takes one and
gives it to your neighbor. |
| A REPUBLICAN |
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what? |
| A DEMOCRAT |
You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel
guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax
your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.
The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and
give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. |
| A COMMUNIST |
You have two cows. The government seizes both and
provides you with milk. |
| A FASCIST |
You have two cows. The government seizes both and
sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of
sabotage. |
| DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE |
You have two cows. The government taxes you to the
point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country
who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government. |
| CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE |
You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and
build a herd of cows. |
| BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN
STYLE |
You have two cows. The government takes them both,
shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the
milk down the drain. |
| AN AMERICAN CORPORATION |
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the
cow drops dead. |
| A FRENCH CORPORATION |
You have two cows. You go on strike because you
want three cows. |
| A JAPANESE CORPORATION |
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the
milk. |
| A GERMAN CORPORATION |
You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live
for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. |
| AN ITALIAN CORPORATION |
You have two cows but you don't know where they
are. You break for lunch. |
| A RUSSIAN CORPORATION |
You have two cows. You count them and learn you
have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You
count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows
and open another bottle of vodka. |
| A MEXICAN CORPORATION |
You think you have two cows, but you don't know
what a cow looks like. You take a nap. |
| A SWISS CORPORATION |
You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you.
You charge for storing them for others. |
| A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION |
You have two cows. You enter into a partnership
with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the
American corporation declares bankruptcy. |
| AN INDIAN CORPORATION |
You have two cows. You worship them. |
| A TALIBAN |
You have two cows. You turn them loose in the
Afghan "countryside" and they both die. You blame the godless
American infidels. |
