 | Word processors never display a cursor. |
|
| You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences.
|
|
| All monitors display 2 inch high letters. |
|
| High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental
institution, have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces. Those that don't will have
incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute
commands typed in plain English. |
Corollary: You can gain access to any information you
want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.
|
| Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing
"UPLOAD VIRUS." |
|
| Viruses cause temperatures in computers, just like they do in humans. After a while,
smoke billows out of disk drives and monitors. |
|
| All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop
computer, even if it's turned off. |
|
| Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some
computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you
can read. The *really* advanced ones also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer as the
characters come across the screen. |
|
| All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just underneath the
surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of
sparks, and an explosion that forces you backward. (See above) |
|
| People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the data.
|
|
| A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and
guess the secret password in two tries. |
|
| Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function. |
|
| Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under
three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second.
|
|
| When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will
explode, as will the entire building. |
|
| If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears
from the screen. There are no ways to copy a backup file -- and there are no undelete
utilities. |
|
| If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you
try to access it. |
|
| No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by any system you put it
into. All application software is usable by all computer platforms. |
|
| The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has. However, everyone must have
been highly trained, because the buttons aren't labeled. |
|
| Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional,
real-time, photo-realistic animated graphics capability. |
|
| Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing real-time video phone
capabilities and the performance of a CRAY-MP. |
|
| Whenever a character looks at a VDU, the image is so bright that it projects itself
onto his/her face. |
|
| Computers never crash during key, high-intensity activities.
|
|
| Humans operating computers never make mistakes under stress.
|
|
| Programs are fiendishly perfect and never have bugs that slow down users.
|
|
